B is for Bullying

B is for Bullying 

   Bullies where always a huge fear of mine for my son in school. Well actually for both my children. Lets face it any time a child is different then someone else in some way bullies are always there to make them feel left out. It could be because of a disability, faith, race, financial status, jealousy even. My children have been the victim of bullying sad to say. Both for different reasons. For my daughter its usually because another person is jealous for some reason or even
 on her moral standards she takes. For my son it was a whole other reason and that was because he is different from other kids. He has many challenges. And social situations are very difficult and awkward for him in the first place. So being singled out and left out is never fun no matter the case or reason why. 

   I have raised my children to always except a person for who they are no matter what. Never making someone to feel left out for any reason. To make sure they go out of their way to make the person that may be singled out feel welcomed. And I think that is why they do tend to flock to the child/person that might be the so called loner, or the one being left out. Even if they know that makes them now the outsider and left out as well. Because they know how it feels to be in that situation.

   I do homeschool my children. And at times I sit back and think man I took on a huge responsibility. I don't doubt my teaching skills. But being a mom who has disabilities like being visually impaired and dyslexic makes it hard. However, my kids were being bullied at school. And it was a problem. It effected their learning environment. My son had no clue how to handle the situations being Autistic. In fact he would shut down mostly and not speak. He was barely verbal at the time in the first place. Being bullied only further put him into regression.  My daughter would come home with Migraines daily and would vomit from them often. I knew no matter how much I tried to prepare my children from bullies, I could not protect them in the end. So I did what I had to do. They did go to private school for a while. And later we decided to homeschool. 

   I know schools try to implement Anti-Bullying campaigns. But it seems like nothing being done is enough. Kids continue to bully those who are different some how, or are jealous they don't have what that other person has. They make the child's life so miserable in some cases pushes them over the edge and either taking their own life or the lives of others. And in some cases the victim later becomes a bully themselves thinking this is going to protect them somehow. 

   The problem starts at home first off. I am not saying schools are perfect in their anti-Bullying prevention's. To many times I have seen schools turn a blind eye to bullies. And then it back fires when all of a sudden their school was victim of a school shooting, or they just lost a student to suicide because they turn a blind eye. However, for an Anti-Bullying program to even work a parent must not be a bully themselves. To many times I have seen that these bullies are also victims. They are being beaten, parents are suffering from alcoholism or addicted to drugs, sexually abusing their child, or plain and simple the parent is a bully themselves and the child learns this behavior and thus does the same thing to other children. 

   I think its important to look at the bully as well in another light. Find out what is really going on to cause this behavior and take action that is needed. They may need a safer environment. A troubled kid the majority of the time comes from a troubled home.

   I have seen however a child that is not abused, not treated badly and seem to have a pretty good environment. However, the child might be aggressive, or want their way. Almost become what I call the mean girl syndrome. Oh this happens with boys as well. But yes bullies can come from normal families as well. A child might have a complex that they feel that they are better then another child. More popular then another child. I call this being spoiled and not disciplined enough. Ungrateful children become bullies as well.

   There are so many reasons why a bully becomes a bully in the first place. Finding out the situation early on when they start bulling is the key to defusing the situation and prevent others from falling victim to being bullied. 

   In the end this is a really tough and sensitive subject. So many factors are involved on both sides of being the victim and bully. I fear that it will always be a problem and most likely will continue to get worse. It starts at home. And that is where we need to start. Parents need to step up and take charge of saying bulling is not acceptable. And children who are bullies because of abuse need to be helped as well. Lets start at home.